The Amazing Cucumber

[Toyman V8]

The Amazing Cucumber

This information was in The New York Times several weeks ago as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.


2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area. (WOW)

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!! (DOUBLE WOW)

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber sliced rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but it won't leave streaks and won't harm your fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Cheers
John

[macka17]

Hi.

One word.


YUKKKK.

Macka17

They're bloody horrible tasting things. (Apple cuc's ok though)

[cvtripper]

Sham wow!

[Graynomad]

Sounds to me a bit like Flanders & Swann's Wompom

Jan.

You can do such a lot with a Wompom,
You can use every part of it too.
For work or for pleasure,
It's a triumph, it's a treasure,
Oh there's nothing that a Wompom cannot do.

Now the thread from the coat of the Wompom
Has the warmth and resilience of Wool
You need never wash or brush it,
It's impossible to crush it
And it shimmers like the finest sort of tulle.

So our clothes are all made from the Wompom;
Modern Gowns, Sportswear, Lingerie (Going up)
They are waterproof and plastic
Where it's needed they're elastic
And they emphasise the figure as you see.

Hail, to thee blithe Wompom.
Hail, to thee O Plant!
All-providing Wompom.
Universal Aunt!

You can shave with the rind of a Wompom,
And it acts like a soapless shampoo.
And its root in little doses
Keeps you free from halitosis
Oh, there's nothing that a Wompom cannot do,
Nothing that a Wompom cannot do,
Nothing that a Wompom cannot do.

Now the thick inner shell of a Wompom
You can mould with a finger and thumb.
Though soft when you began it
It'll set as hard as granite
And it's quite as light as aluminium.

So we make what we like from the Wompom,
And that proves very useful indeed.
From streets full of houses
To the buttons on your trousers
With a Wompom you have everything you need.

Gaudeamus Wompom,
Gladly we salute!
Vade mecum Wompom,
Philanthropic Fruit!

Oh, the thin outer leaf of the Wompom
Makes the finest Havannah cigar
And its bottom simply bristles
With unusual looking thistles
But we havn't yet discovered what they are.

You can do such a lot with a Wompom,
You can use every part of it too.
For work or for pleasure,
It's a triumph, it's a treasure,
Oh there's nothing that a Wompom cannot do.

Oh, the flesh in the heart of a Wompom
Has the flavour of porterhouse steak.
And its juice is a liquor
That will get you higher quicker
And you're still lit up next morning when you wake.

Wompom! Wompom! Let your voices ring!
Wompom! Wompom! Evermore we sing!

To record what is what in a Wompom
Needs a book twice as thick as Who's Who
I could tell you more and more about this fascinating flora
You can shape it, you can square it,
You can drape it you can wear it,
You can ice it, You can dice it,
You can pare it, You can slice it,
Oh there's nothing that a Wompom cannot do.
Nothing that a Wompom cannot do.
Nothing that a Wompom cannot do.

[macka17]

Cucumbers. What cucumbers.

It's absolutely Sheeting it down here. Combined with around 40 plus knots of wind.

I think the Little disturbance from up North has arirved.

Send it down Hughey...

whoops. better go and close windows. and van roof vents\Door.

Yep Van got wet carpet. Smack smack.

See Ya
macka17

[Groovy]

It should be nicely mildewed by tomorrow

[RayF]

All my cucumber bushes are bearing at once. Now I know what to do with them My granddaughter is eating them like apples

[macka17]

Yuk Ray.

Cuc's are the one thing I can't stand. Leave a terrible taste in mouth.
and burps like you wouldn't believe.

yet funilly. "Apple Cuc's. well salted and eaten like an apple. taste quite nice.

Wierd pom's hey.

Love
Macka17

[RayF]

Weird poms Macca? Is there such a beast You should try growing some of the "Burpless" varieties. They would grow like weeds up there.Also an old bloke I worked with years ago swore by them as an aphrodesiac. Try eating a dozen tomorrow,but don't come back and tell me only 11 worked